Yes, the title is correct. No, I didn’t accidently leak my notes app.

What I’ve written below is a ramble of my brain: skippable if needed.

I did always hated sharing my writing because, first, I have a severe anxiety of judgement; second, I thought it was too real. It felt like telling someone my credit card number, and even though my bank is quite empty, it’s a form of trust I was not inclined to give anyone.

For those I know best and trust, I was scared that through my writing they might see a part of me they did not know before, a part that’s not so nice. For those I didn’t well, it was too intimate. Perhaps it was only perfect to share my writing with parasocial judges who I believed would acknowledge every nuance and could get inside the crevices of my brain even when they didn’t know me one bit.

I think I was wrong on all three fronts. But it doesn’t change the fact that I still don’t like sharing my writing.

However, only for you (yes you who is reading this right now), you are special (ignore the fact that I have no idea who will be reading this, and when this is written, I don’t even know how to share this website yet). But I still think you are special. I didn’t send this to you, it’s a echo in the valley and you perchance (not entirely by chance) chose to listen to it.

Thank you for sitting through my rambling.